In relationships, jealousy is one factor that can make or mar a relationship. Partners in a relationship usually claim a degree of possessiveness over each other. Most often, this is as a result of the degree of love present in the relationship. Once you love someone, it’s normal to care to a huge amount about what happens to your partner, the people she or he relates to, whether s/he treats or relates to them better than you, how special you are treated than other people, if your partner feels the same way towards you and so on.
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You tend to be protective over that person, wanting to keep away other people who might likely destroy your relationship with your partner. Jealousy is inevitable in a relationship.
But the question here becomes how much is too much?
Jealousy is necessary in a relationship because it reassures your partner of your love, care and how much the relationship means to you. Just like everything, once taken to the extreme, it becomes deadly.
A common form of jealousy which is generally accepted is refusing to share your partner with others. This is tolerable and even required in committed relationships. It is justified that once you get into a relationship, your partner becomes exclusive to you.
As said earlier, jealousy taken to the extreme is deadly. Some persons have become jealous to the extent that they seem controlling.
Here are extreme exhibits of jealousy:
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Wanting to know everyone your partner comes in contact with
This is a little overboard. It’s all right to care about your partner and all that, but wanting to check every single person s/he is in contact with to know if your partner is interested in the person is a little paranoid (in marriage, it’s okay to know everyone your partner is in contact with).
Men normally are the perpetrators of this. Please relax, she is not cheating on you.
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Going over your partner’s phone
The issue of phone privacy has caused so many heartaches and breakups. Unless you are married,(even if married) if your partner does not want you to go over their phone, let it be!
Remember, trust is an essential factor of a relationship (I will write an article on what happens in a relationship if trust is broken). If your partner is comfortable with you going through their phone, fine. If not, let it be and trust your partner except you have been given a reason not to trust them.
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Wanting to be with your partner at all times
This is practically impossible but people still try it. How could you possibly be with one person all the time? Your partner had a life before meeting you and it’s impossible to be in every aspect of their life, though some people try.
An example which surprised me was a lady who insisted that she must follow her husband to men’s meetings in church. It’s really extreme!. It could make your partner get tired of you. Try to give your partner some space. It keeps the relationship fresh.
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Wanting your partner to cut off access to everyone s/he knew before meeting you
This is really extreme, yet people demand it of their partners. You see men demanding their partners to cut off prior established relationships. This is controlling at its peak. I recall a man whom asked a lady he was in a relationship with to break her sim card and took her to a new state with no known person close. It was no surprise the lady left him. This is jealousy in its highest point.
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It is the view of this writer that while some amount of jealousy is essential in a relationship to show you really care, there should be boundaries. This is because extreme acts of jealousy is detrimental to a relationship.
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Editor’s Note: This is the first in our new series of RELATIONSHIPS authored by AKANEGBU OSINACHI that will be coming your ways from time to time.
www.sojworldnews.com (c) June 10, 2020
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