Forming a relationship can be easy, but sustaining the relationship is a difficult task. Humans are created to form relationships with one another, however, there is always a clause in the relationship. You are probably wondering what I meant by clause, it is the process of discovering flaws in one another in relationships. I termed the clause, RELATIONSHIP HICCUPS.
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What are Relationship hiccups?
Relationship hiccups in its simplest definition is a minor setbacks in a relationship when you discover the flaws of another individual. Every relationship is saddled with its own ups and downs, how well you navigate through it as an individual depends on you and the other party involved in that relationship. There are basically different relations we form with people, which include family, friends, classmates, colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances.
When it comes to relationships, ignorance is never bliss. Of course, you deal with your thoughts, emotions and past experiences, but you are also dealing with those of another person.
The management of your thoughts is a herculean task I must say, which makes you put in extra effort in managing that of another person. Every relationship out there has a point at which your thoughts and another person’s thought clashes, that is when you experience a relationship hiccup. When it does happen, how then do you deal with it to be at an equilibrium point with one another? That is where compromise comes in, in human relationships. Don’t forget, the more information you have about your relationship with another person, the more tools you can stash into your proverbial belt to make your ship of relationship sail smoothly.
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In a family relationship, you are probably close to your dad than your mom, your sister or your brother. Whatever it is, there are days you’d experience hiccups (a minor setback) in your relationship. It is not every day your thoughts align with that of another individual regardless of the person is your family.
However, the information you are armed with about your sister or family members you are probably not on good terms with, will enable you to know the ways you’d try to set the bend rid straight.
In order to achieve your aim of setting things right between yourself and your family member, you have to know this;
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According to a famous counsellor in relationship matters, Asa Don Brown “All children should be taught to unconditionally accept, approve, admire, appreciate, forgive, trust and ultimately love their own person”. It means that for an individual to build a successful relationship with another individual, he or she must, first of all, love his or her person, not loving yourself, you cannot bring yourself to love another person. Just like a saying that goes thus; you cannot give what you do not have.
To manage relationships when flaws are discovered, you must learn the 4As: Accept, Approve, Admire and Appreciate while you learn to Forgive and Trust again.
As a child born in a family of four or more, nature has chosen your family for you but to sustain the relationship in that family, you must be ready to choose them over and over again by accepting their flaws, approving their right doings, admire them for who they are while you also learn to appreciate both the big and small things they do for you. Forgive their wrongdoings against you and learning to trust them once more is the way to sustain the relationship nature has formed for you despite your past hiccups.
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In friendship relations, there is no doubt that friendship is formed of your own volition, nature just helps in crossing your paths in life. There are friends of the moment and friends of a lifetime. A friend of the moment is a friend you met and the part when the moment that brings you together is no longer available while a friend of a lifetime is a friend that moment in life brought together and still stays with you when the moment is no longer there.
Whichever one you find yourself, friends, with, there will always be an iota of hiccups in your relationship. The hiccups either break your friends or make your friendship stronger. In the course of your friendship with an individual, there will come a time you’d discover each other’s flaws, the question is; Can you live with it or not? Your answer will probably shape what your friendship status will be afterwards. Broken or made.
….TO BE CONCLUDED
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Gbemisola Taibat. is a Corps Member (2022-2023) currently serving in Osogbo, Osun State capital
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